Memory Game

So several months ago I found a cool Toy Story memory game on my iPhone. Oliver was starting to get more interested in my phone so I thought he might enjoy seeing the characters. He liked it right away. It started with me holding his finger and I'd help him find all the matches. Eventually he started poking around and occasionally got a match (mostly by accident). Usually he'd get frustrated, grab my finger and make me find the matches. He at least recognized that the matched tiles were disappearing and he understood that that was good. Then about a month ago I gave him my phone (by this time he could easily navigate his way to the game to open it) and I noticed he wasn't grabbing my hand to help him. I also noticed that he had found a match. I started watching as he flips 2 tiles that don't match, then the next one he flipped he recognized that he had just seen its match, so he remembered where and got the match. Still I thought he was getting somewhat lucky. About 3 minutes and 15 seconds later he had solved the puzzle! Then he did it again and beat his record (2:45). He amazed us with his memory and has since then beat his time to close to 2 minutes. What an amazing boy. So smart like his mommy. I'm in search of other games that he'll enjoy while they challenge his mind. If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them. I just hope this doesn't translate to mindless texting in later years. But as for now he is our little professor.

The beginning of Oliver's journey.

At Oliver's 18 month check up, in July 2010, our pediatrician informed us that Oliver probably is autistic. Oliver didn't speak, besides "da da da da" He also had some behavior issues. When he gets frustrated Oliver will hit his head repeatedly on the ground or wall. And being a little kid not able to communicate with your parents the things you need or want can make you frustrated a lot. He also doesn't really like to play with other kids. All of these factors lead the doctor to the idea of autism.
I couldn't believe that my sweet, wonderful Oliver could be autistic. Like any mother, I didn't want any thing bad for my child. I just wanted to protect him from everything, but I couldn't protect him from this. Also, it was so frustrating not knowing what degree of autism he had, or if he was just delayed. It took forever to get in to see doctors and some of the doctors were just a waste of time. We went to a few specialists and all we would get was that he did seem to be autistic but that it was too early to diagnose. Finally in November 2010, we went up to the Child Development Clinic (CDC) up at the University of Utah. We met with Dr. Peck, a Psychologist, he watched Oliver play with toys, and asked us questions about Oliver, and then tried to play with him. His findings were that Oliver seemed to have good eye contact with people, which a lot of autistic kids struggle with, but Oliver seemed anxious which is common in people with Aspergers Syndrome. Dr. Peck told us that though it is still too early for him to diagnoses he believes Oliver has Aspergers Syndrome or possibly PDD (pervasive developmental disorders). Both would be better than autism he said, but if it turns out Oliver is autistic he thinks he might be on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum. Now I'm no expert on defining Autism, Aspergers, or PDD so I'm not going to try. When we get a diagnoses I will most likely become an expert on whatever condition Oliver has, but till then I'm just focusing on helping Oliver with the things his Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, and Behavioral Specialist from Early Intervention tell us to do. Early Intervention has been great and so helpful. They send whatever specialists you need right to your home for visits and to work with your child. We have been very grateful for them.

To help Oliver we've worked on really engaging with him, talking to him, signing with him and playing with him. They say kids learn the most when they are having fun and if we show Oliver that our world is fun he will try less to isolate himself and be more willing to play and engage with others. Though Oliver is two years old now and still doesn't have any words, we have seen great improvements in him. He signs: more, please, and drink. Oliver gives us kisses and hugs and loves to play chase. Since Oliver also has some sensory issues he loves being swung, bounced, loves to jump, run, climb and hit his head, it helps him regulate all the things he is taking in and learning. Along with having sensory issues it's caused him to be a very picky eater. Since all of his senses are heightened smells, tastes, even the look of food can throw him off. We rely on Pediasure to get him the nutrition he needs because some days he would only eat Pringle chips. But we just started a Gluten Free diet which I've heard helps a lot of kids that are in the same boat as Oliver. So we will see if it works for him too.

At the beginning it was really hard, but Brett and my family were great comforters. I just wanted Oliver to have a happy life. I wanted the best for my baby. I didn't want him to have to face this sort of trial. I could have let this eat at me every day and bring me down each night and I did for a while. But we have support from our amazing family, great friends, and Jesus Christ that helped us through the darkest of times. I realized Oliver can still have a happy life, that's not for Asperger's or Autism to decide, but for us to make that decision. Oliver is a beautiful, smart, funny little fella and he has so much to offer. He has so many great qualities. To look at him and just see Aspergers/Autism is wrong. That doesn't define who he is, it's just something he has. He is my baby and I love him, we all do. And I couldn't have married a more perfect man. Brett is the perfect daddy for Oliver and I adore seeing them play together, they are best buddies. So we are now waiting till he is closer to three years old to go back and get the diagnosis.

Now the title of this post I thought was quite fitting. Oliver has a love for Pixar type movies, one of his current favorites is The Incredibles. When ever the bad guy Buddy/Syndrome says,"I'm Syndrome, your nemesis!" it makes me think of Aspergers Syndrome and it makes me chuckle.

Just a note, if you are out in public and see a mom and dad with their kid and the kid is throwing a huge fit, you might think: wow that kid is a tantrum thrower, or gosh, they need to get their child in control, do not judge. There can be so much more that you have no clue about. The kid might have sensory issues and all the lights and sounds in the store is driving the child crazy. Or the kid might have social anxieties which makes them really irritable and anxious. Be humane and have compassion.

Oliver's favorite past time, swinging!

High fives and Knuckles.

Brett is teaching Oliver to do High fives and Knuckles more. He seems to be catching on pretty well but tends to do it mostly with Brett. It has been about a week and a half that he's been on his Gluten Free diet and he's doing well. We haven't noticed any big difference yet but it's still early. He is really liking the Udi's bread, muffins, and cookies. We are still relying on Pediasure to get him the nutrients he needs since he still won't eat any veggies or fruits or meats.

Signing, Playing and Maybe a First Word

Over the past couple months Oliver has continued to develop. We've been working on his signing a lot. He's great at signing 'more' and 'please.' We try to get him to sign exactly what he wants and he'll occasionally sign 'drink' when he's thirsty. He also makes the same sound when he signs 'more' which even sounds a lot like more, but without the 'm.'

Oliver has shown a lot more interest in playing with us. He still doesn't really want to play with other kids, but he always wants Ciara and I to play with him. To get our attention he'll run into a room and close the door. Then he starts banging on it until one of us goes to get him. It's a fun game he's developed. He absolutely loves playing chase, especialfly if he's being chased by a monster. He has little interest in object games. He mostly wants to run and have you chase him. He does sometimes play with his basketball hoop. I used to grunt 'You made it!' and he would laugh hysterically.

As of a few days ago, we noticed Oliver making a sound that sounded a lot like 'no.' Today we heard it again and investigated further. We gave him Ciara's old wallet and I tried to take it from him and he jerked it back and said 'nah.' Then Ciara tried the same thing and he did the same thing. We think his first word just might be 'No.' While we are super excited we don't know how to encourage him when he disagrees with us. Hopefully this is a sign of more words in the near future. He has ben making a lot more sounds. He still doesn't really jabber, they are more like different shouts here and there with different consonants and vowels.

He's Pointing!

For the first time Oliver pointed at what he wanted! Oliver wanted something on the counter so he grabbed my hand took me there and had me pick him up. Then I wouldn't give him anything, but tried to get him to point at what he wanted. I would point at something that I knew he didn't want and ask him if that's what he wanted and then I'd point to whatever I thought he DID want. I just kept asking 'What do you want? This one or this one?" I would be pointing to each one myself. Finally he pointed at the item he wanted. He has now done it several times today with both Ciara and I. We still have to encourage him A LOT to point, but at least he's starting to do that.

He has also been doing really well with the 'more' sign. At one point a couple weeks ago we feared that he started to forget it, but he picked it up again and even more than before. We are now trying to teach him to sign 'please' and 'hungry'. Great to see him learning.

Progress and Big News

Since the last post we have seen some progress here and there. Oliver will have really big days and then retreat back to what he's comfortable doing. He is playing some games at a higher level. Like the toy with the balls that you put in the holes. He used to not want to use the hammer but does now. He still LOVES playing chase. The difference is that he seems to better understand the suspense of the chase.

He also has started tugging on our pants or pulling us by the hand to the thing that he wants. We think it's a pretty good sign of progress. Sometimes (like in the middle of writing this post) he will pull you to where he is playing or watching a movie just so you'll be with him. Now we are just trying to help him point at the thing he needs instead of having us just guess what it is.

The big news has to do with the visit we made to the U of U's Psychiatrist. His temporary diagnosis is Aspergers. This good news in that he doesn't think he has autism, but he's not sure yet if it's Aspergers or PDD. The main sign will be if he begins speaking before he's 3yrs and 3 mo. If he does he has Aspergers. But we'll find out with time. He does seem to be a lot more vocal these days, but he's still just hooting and hollering most. He has started to make more consonants, but they are few and far between.

We also have learned how AWESOME of a climber he is. He has climbed into the bassinet, the crib and on top of any table in the house. Can't wait to take him to do some REAL climbing.

Smile

Tonight my family went to Disney on Ice. We didn't go along because I didn't think Oliver would enjoy it enough to sit there the whole time and watch. I want to be able to take him to things like that and see that he is enjoying them and not have to have Brett walk with him up and down the stairs, but we just aren't there yet. So after the show the my mom came by and brought him one of those spinning, light up, mickey, wand toys. And even though those colorful lights were bright, Oliver's smile lit the room up even more. Still as I am listening to him play with it downstairs it brings a smile on my face and tears to my eyes.