Oliver's Year in a Nutshell

OK, much to cover since I have been busy for the past year. I'll try to be brief... We stopped all special therapies for Oliver. We tried different ones over the past year and none showed enough improvement to make it worth his time and screaming. We no longer know if Oliver has Aspergers or just Autism. Either way he seems to be higher functioning. If it was Aspergers he should be talking pretty well by now and that's not quite the situation. He attended a special preschool and had some ups and downs, but overall seemed to enjoy it. It was 2 1/2 hrs 4 times/week.

 Oliver has improved a lot academically. He's in his 2nd year of school and I guess you could consider him the Valedictorian of his class. It's even to the point that they've reevaluated him and decided he should move to a higher functioning class in January. There they will work on his social skills. He knows his numbers and letters really well and completes all the tasks his teachers give him. So they feel he's not being challenged enough anymore. We're so proud of our little professor. He's even reading books. Check it out here http://youtu.be/dDbixxIulZU Whether he's memorizing the words or really reading with understanding, I'm not sure, but it's impressive nonetheless. We have noticed his memory is pretty amazing. He gives me turn by turn directions through the neighborhood to our house. He remembers which tv episode is next in line on netflix hours after having watched an episode. There are many examples of his vast memory.

His speech is still lacking a bit, but he has started mimicking much more and even has some phrases he uses often (What do you want to watch?, Come back!). And very recently when prompted, you can get him to say a complete sentence on his own. It's usually something like, 'Daddy, can I have a cookie, please?' And he's great at saying thank you.

 FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Oliver and Liam rarely get along. They fight a lot and often aim for the face. Ciara and I have been working hard on having them show a little more love. So when they're both crying after smacking each other we have them hug and kiss. Just the other day Liam hit Oliver for no reason and Oliver, on his own free will, went to Liam and said 'Hug' and hugged him, then said 'kiss' and kissed him. No fight or sucker punch for revenge. It was great and we hope to see more of that.

Here Oliver is making a snow angel. We never showed him how to do this. We think he learned from Mickey Mouse. He just laid down and started making one. There is too much to tell in just a single post. I hope to be more diligent in posting Oliver's amazing journey.

More vocal

Oliver loved this swinging chair. We need one for his room!

Oliver has been speaking a lot more lately. He says please, cheese, water, cookie, apple, Simba (I'll explain that one) and has started saying mama and dada again but without real meaning. It has been great to be pulled into the kitchen and have Oliver say 'cheese' or 'water' -which sounds more like aguá- when he needs something. It's not perfectly consistent, but such a wonderful accomplishment. Sometimes he'll bring his cup to us asking for water too.

He has also started to sing to some of his favorite shows. One happens to be Lion King! As soon as the movie starts he starts trying to sing along to the African themed music. It's really fun to hear it. He even seems to try to sing 'circle' when they talk about the circle of life. He sometimes sings along with the Yo Gabba Gabba opening song.

Going to bed has become a nightmare once again. He has been going to bed for the past few months without any problems and suddenly going to bed for him is torture- for both of us. When I put him down and start walking to the door to leave he's already out of bed and running to the door after me. I have to sneak out super fast now. Oliver will run to the door and basically ram it and fall to the floor. It's really sad and hard to just leave, but I found that he will cry at the door for about 5 minutes and then go get in bed and fall right asleep. One night I couldn't get out of the room fast enough and he stayed up till about 11:30 before I just put him in his room and got out fast. That's how I learned that he will only cry for a minute before going to bed. Poor kid, he's a night owl like his parents.

We love our Oliver and appreciate all the prayers and love from family and friends.

WORDS!!

Oliver has recently started saying just a few words! It's not super consistent, but it's still amazing. This month he has said the following (in his own way): more, water, cookie, bubbles. We can't wait for more words to come spouting out. Super achievement, we are so proud.

ABC's with Oliver

Oliver wrestling and singing ABC's from Ciara Richardson on Vimeo.

Letters, Numbers and Horses - OH MY!

So here's a little catch up since I've gotten behind on his progress.

1. We've stopped with the gluten free diet. It just wasn't worth it and super difficult to maintain. We didn't see big enough results to justify it. We have started to reduce his sugar intake. We think we just might be seeing results with this. Along with less sugar we are trying to not give him any preservatives or dyes or anything like that. His temperament seems to be a little better since starting this.

2. Oliver is fascinated with letters and numbers. He can put together an alphabet puzzle we have for him with ease. He can also say about 20 letters. The other letters he says something but it is a made up sound. The cool thing is that he uses the same made up sound for the same letter. So it seems like he recognizes it, he just can't say it. He can say the alphabet all the way through too. He does something similar with numbers. He can say 1, 2, 6 -10, then he makes up a sound for 3-5 but it's always the same sound for the right number. We can ask him 'what's this?' pointing to a letter or number and he will often tell us.

3. We are trying a new therapy. It's where he goes horseback riding. It's a certain kind of horse and they walk in a circle for an hour. I still have to ride with him since he's still not too keen about it. In fact, he cries every time we pull up to the barn. He usually cries for a few minutes and then relaxes and does really well. He loves playing outside the barn with the rocks when he's done. He seems to be more calm the rest of the day. The therapy is supposed to help regulate his brain (that's the simplified way of explaining it). We go to a place by Spanish Fork called Hoofbeats to Healing.

4. Last, Oliver has been struggling with hitting. He is hitting Ciara and me any time he doesn't get his way. He'll run over to you and start whacking your legs. If you're holding him he will try to hit your face. He definitely tries our patience, but we are doing our best to teach him it's not good. I've stopped doing any sort of hitting when we rough house too in case that had anything to do with it. We don't hit much in our home so we don't know what really caused it. He also has been hitting Liam without any reason. Sometimes he even goes out of his way to hit him on the head. We tried saying 'ow' when he'd hit us to show him that it hurts and we explain that it's not nice. Unfortunately, he then kept hitting us, but HE says 'ow'! It's actually really cute, but he either didn't get the message or he just outsmarted us.

Overall we see improvement. Just today on our way to the car after church I said 'there's the car' and he repeated the word 'car'. He is trying to repeat more and will sing along to some of his favorite shows. We love our little boxer.

Letters and Stuff

Lately Oliver has been fascinated with letters. he has flash cards, iPhone aps and books that teach him letters. He also likes it when we sing the alphabet song. He watches our mouths very closely as we form our mouth too say each letter. He often points to letters and makes his own sound for them trying so hard to be more vocal. He finally has started saying a few letters. Sometimes randomly, but also sometimes when he is looking at the actual letter! He's mostly familiar with A, O, S, X, and Y. Tonight while we got him ready for bed we sang the alphabet song again. He watched Ciara's mouth closely and helped her with the last three letters! They weren't perfect, but he managed to say X, Y, and Z before Ciara did. We were so happy for him. There have been a few times that he has tried to say 'bubbles' as well. He's trying so hard to communicate with words.

He has gotten better at showing us what he wants. He used to just sign 'more' and we'd have to guess what he wants. Now he is pointing a lot more and also taking us to the thing he wants more of so we can help. Before he would take us somewhere near the thing he wanted, but it was still a guessing game. He's trying to make it a little easier on us. Way to go Oliver!

To Gluten or Not to Gluten

So for around 2 months we tried to keep Oliver on a strict gluten-free diet. It was difficult, expensive and showed mixed results. There were times Oliver seemed more calm and then we'd still have days of intense fits. So we were undecided on whether it was really helping and if it was worth continuing. Then when we got home from our week long TX trip Ciara and I ordered pizza. Oliver couldn't resist and wanted a bread stick. That bite resulted in us deciding to discontinue the diet and observe Oliver. It's been about a week and we have really only had one day where he was irritated by anything and everything. So thus far we don't see much of a difference. Plus there are SO MANY more foods that we can try to give him. He's doing pretty good so far, but we need to figure out a few tricks to sneak in some healthy things and maybe some meats.


On a funner side, Oliver is still progressing in many ways. He is more vocal and is saying things like dada, mama, NO, wha?, and what. The only one that he seems to know the meaning of is NO which he uses often. He likes to make a funny face with you where he shows his teeth and makes kind of a frowny face. It's funny. He LOVES swimming in pools or at the beach. When he's in a really good mood he likes to walk around and do a goofy laugh about every 10 seconds. It's like a burst of a laugh with a big wide open smile. He likes to make his toys kiss. He is addicted to slides of any kind. He likes to briefly hold Liam's hand and just look at him. He loves riding in his wagon as long as you don't back track. I could go on and on because he's just amazing.

More signs and sounds

We've been working with Oliver trying to teach him more signs so he can tell us more specifically what he wants. Thus far he has 'more' and 'please' down. We've been working on 'spin', 'cookie', 'drink' and 'thank you'. After we begin to repeat each sign with him non-stop he'll start to kind of figure it out. Usually when we know what he wants we'll ask him for example, "Do you want another cookie?" and after hearing the word he'll make the sign, but he rarely does it on his own without our cues. So he'll often come to us, sign 'more' and then he knows he usually gets something after that. The trick is to get him to be more specific and communicate that to us.

Also, Oliver has been learning lots about animals. He can make an elephant sound which cracks him up when I (dad) make the sound and move my arms like an elephant trunk. He also makes his version of a cat sound which is the softest little sound anyone could ever make. It's like the tiniest little grunt that sounds almost like a cat, but it's his version. Lastly, he's been saying mama again! He says it randomly for the most part but there have been a few times that it seems as if he is addressing Ciara by saying it, either way we are just happy to hear it. Happy Easter everyone. Just for fun I added some pics from a couple weeks ago when I put Oliver's shoes on over his pj onsie to play outside. He played with Ozzie's ball and Ozzie would chase him. It was lots of fun.

Memory Game

So several months ago I found a cool Toy Story memory game on my iPhone. Oliver was starting to get more interested in my phone so I thought he might enjoy seeing the characters. He liked it right away. It started with me holding his finger and I'd help him find all the matches. Eventually he started poking around and occasionally got a match (mostly by accident). Usually he'd get frustrated, grab my finger and make me find the matches. He at least recognized that the matched tiles were disappearing and he understood that that was good. Then about a month ago I gave him my phone (by this time he could easily navigate his way to the game to open it) and I noticed he wasn't grabbing my hand to help him. I also noticed that he had found a match. I started watching as he flips 2 tiles that don't match, then the next one he flipped he recognized that he had just seen its match, so he remembered where and got the match. Still I thought he was getting somewhat lucky. About 3 minutes and 15 seconds later he had solved the puzzle! Then he did it again and beat his record (2:45). He amazed us with his memory and has since then beat his time to close to 2 minutes. What an amazing boy. So smart like his mommy. I'm in search of other games that he'll enjoy while they challenge his mind. If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them. I just hope this doesn't translate to mindless texting in later years. But as for now he is our little professor.

The beginning of Oliver's journey.

At Oliver's 18 month check up, in July 2010, our pediatrician informed us that Oliver probably is autistic. Oliver didn't speak, besides "da da da da" He also had some behavior issues. When he gets frustrated Oliver will hit his head repeatedly on the ground or wall. And being a little kid not able to communicate with your parents the things you need or want can make you frustrated a lot. He also doesn't really like to play with other kids. All of these factors lead the doctor to the idea of autism.
I couldn't believe that my sweet, wonderful Oliver could be autistic. Like any mother, I didn't want any thing bad for my child. I just wanted to protect him from everything, but I couldn't protect him from this. Also, it was so frustrating not knowing what degree of autism he had, or if he was just delayed. It took forever to get in to see doctors and some of the doctors were just a waste of time. We went to a few specialists and all we would get was that he did seem to be autistic but that it was too early to diagnose. Finally in November 2010, we went up to the Child Development Clinic (CDC) up at the University of Utah. We met with Dr. Peck, a Psychologist, he watched Oliver play with toys, and asked us questions about Oliver, and then tried to play with him. His findings were that Oliver seemed to have good eye contact with people, which a lot of autistic kids struggle with, but Oliver seemed anxious which is common in people with Aspergers Syndrome. Dr. Peck told us that though it is still too early for him to diagnoses he believes Oliver has Aspergers Syndrome or possibly PDD (pervasive developmental disorders). Both would be better than autism he said, but if it turns out Oliver is autistic he thinks he might be on the higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum. Now I'm no expert on defining Autism, Aspergers, or PDD so I'm not going to try. When we get a diagnoses I will most likely become an expert on whatever condition Oliver has, but till then I'm just focusing on helping Oliver with the things his Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, and Behavioral Specialist from Early Intervention tell us to do. Early Intervention has been great and so helpful. They send whatever specialists you need right to your home for visits and to work with your child. We have been very grateful for them.

To help Oliver we've worked on really engaging with him, talking to him, signing with him and playing with him. They say kids learn the most when they are having fun and if we show Oliver that our world is fun he will try less to isolate himself and be more willing to play and engage with others. Though Oliver is two years old now and still doesn't have any words, we have seen great improvements in him. He signs: more, please, and drink. Oliver gives us kisses and hugs and loves to play chase. Since Oliver also has some sensory issues he loves being swung, bounced, loves to jump, run, climb and hit his head, it helps him regulate all the things he is taking in and learning. Along with having sensory issues it's caused him to be a very picky eater. Since all of his senses are heightened smells, tastes, even the look of food can throw him off. We rely on Pediasure to get him the nutrition he needs because some days he would only eat Pringle chips. But we just started a Gluten Free diet which I've heard helps a lot of kids that are in the same boat as Oliver. So we will see if it works for him too.

At the beginning it was really hard, but Brett and my family were great comforters. I just wanted Oliver to have a happy life. I wanted the best for my baby. I didn't want him to have to face this sort of trial. I could have let this eat at me every day and bring me down each night and I did for a while. But we have support from our amazing family, great friends, and Jesus Christ that helped us through the darkest of times. I realized Oliver can still have a happy life, that's not for Asperger's or Autism to decide, but for us to make that decision. Oliver is a beautiful, smart, funny little fella and he has so much to offer. He has so many great qualities. To look at him and just see Aspergers/Autism is wrong. That doesn't define who he is, it's just something he has. He is my baby and I love him, we all do. And I couldn't have married a more perfect man. Brett is the perfect daddy for Oliver and I adore seeing them play together, they are best buddies. So we are now waiting till he is closer to three years old to go back and get the diagnosis.

Now the title of this post I thought was quite fitting. Oliver has a love for Pixar type movies, one of his current favorites is The Incredibles. When ever the bad guy Buddy/Syndrome says,"I'm Syndrome, your nemesis!" it makes me think of Aspergers Syndrome and it makes me chuckle.

Just a note, if you are out in public and see a mom and dad with their kid and the kid is throwing a huge fit, you might think: wow that kid is a tantrum thrower, or gosh, they need to get their child in control, do not judge. There can be so much more that you have no clue about. The kid might have sensory issues and all the lights and sounds in the store is driving the child crazy. Or the kid might have social anxieties which makes them really irritable and anxious. Be humane and have compassion.

Oliver's favorite past time, swinging!

High fives and Knuckles.

Brett is teaching Oliver to do High fives and Knuckles more. He seems to be catching on pretty well but tends to do it mostly with Brett. It has been about a week and a half that he's been on his Gluten Free diet and he's doing well. We haven't noticed any big difference yet but it's still early. He is really liking the Udi's bread, muffins, and cookies. We are still relying on Pediasure to get him the nutrients he needs since he still won't eat any veggies or fruits or meats.

Signing, Playing and Maybe a First Word

Over the past couple months Oliver has continued to develop. We've been working on his signing a lot. He's great at signing 'more' and 'please.' We try to get him to sign exactly what he wants and he'll occasionally sign 'drink' when he's thirsty. He also makes the same sound when he signs 'more' which even sounds a lot like more, but without the 'm.'

Oliver has shown a lot more interest in playing with us. He still doesn't really want to play with other kids, but he always wants Ciara and I to play with him. To get our attention he'll run into a room and close the door. Then he starts banging on it until one of us goes to get him. It's a fun game he's developed. He absolutely loves playing chase, especialfly if he's being chased by a monster. He has little interest in object games. He mostly wants to run and have you chase him. He does sometimes play with his basketball hoop. I used to grunt 'You made it!' and he would laugh hysterically.

As of a few days ago, we noticed Oliver making a sound that sounded a lot like 'no.' Today we heard it again and investigated further. We gave him Ciara's old wallet and I tried to take it from him and he jerked it back and said 'nah.' Then Ciara tried the same thing and he did the same thing. We think his first word just might be 'No.' While we are super excited we don't know how to encourage him when he disagrees with us. Hopefully this is a sign of more words in the near future. He has ben making a lot more sounds. He still doesn't really jabber, they are more like different shouts here and there with different consonants and vowels.

He's Pointing!

For the first time Oliver pointed at what he wanted! Oliver wanted something on the counter so he grabbed my hand took me there and had me pick him up. Then I wouldn't give him anything, but tried to get him to point at what he wanted. I would point at something that I knew he didn't want and ask him if that's what he wanted and then I'd point to whatever I thought he DID want. I just kept asking 'What do you want? This one or this one?" I would be pointing to each one myself. Finally he pointed at the item he wanted. He has now done it several times today with both Ciara and I. We still have to encourage him A LOT to point, but at least he's starting to do that.

He has also been doing really well with the 'more' sign. At one point a couple weeks ago we feared that he started to forget it, but he picked it up again and even more than before. We are now trying to teach him to sign 'please' and 'hungry'. Great to see him learning.

Progress and Big News

Since the last post we have seen some progress here and there. Oliver will have really big days and then retreat back to what he's comfortable doing. He is playing some games at a higher level. Like the toy with the balls that you put in the holes. He used to not want to use the hammer but does now. He still LOVES playing chase. The difference is that he seems to better understand the suspense of the chase.

He also has started tugging on our pants or pulling us by the hand to the thing that he wants. We think it's a pretty good sign of progress. Sometimes (like in the middle of writing this post) he will pull you to where he is playing or watching a movie just so you'll be with him. Now we are just trying to help him point at the thing he needs instead of having us just guess what it is.

The big news has to do with the visit we made to the U of U's Psychiatrist. His temporary diagnosis is Aspergers. This good news in that he doesn't think he has autism, but he's not sure yet if it's Aspergers or PDD. The main sign will be if he begins speaking before he's 3yrs and 3 mo. If he does he has Aspergers. But we'll find out with time. He does seem to be a lot more vocal these days, but he's still just hooting and hollering most. He has started to make more consonants, but they are few and far between.

We also have learned how AWESOME of a climber he is. He has climbed into the bassinet, the crib and on top of any table in the house. Can't wait to take him to do some REAL climbing.

Smile

Tonight my family went to Disney on Ice. We didn't go along because I didn't think Oliver would enjoy it enough to sit there the whole time and watch. I want to be able to take him to things like that and see that he is enjoying them and not have to have Brett walk with him up and down the stairs, but we just aren't there yet. So after the show the my mom came by and brought him one of those spinning, light up, mickey, wand toys. And even though those colorful lights were bright, Oliver's smile lit the room up even more. Still as I am listening to him play with it downstairs it brings a smile on my face and tears to my eyes.

Super Updates!

There is much to talk about concerning Oliver's development. A few weeks ago he finally started doing the more sign when he wanted to swing more in the laundry bag! Then more and more he started using the more sign for lots of stuff: food, to turn on a chair that vibrates, etc. It's amazing to see him communicate a little more. He also brings his cup to us pretty consistently when he runs out and wants more.

Also, he has started getting his shoes any time he wants to go outside and he'll bring them to us. Today I decided to take him outside so I asked him to go get his shoes because we were going to go outside. He went to the shoe basket and pulled out his sandal and brought it to me. Then I pointed to his other foot and told him to get his other shoe, which he did and brought it to me to put it on him. AWESOME!

We just had Liam and Oliver rarely pays any attention to him, but when he does he usually just wants to hit him. He's not a fan of his crying. That's really the only time he pays attention to him.

What does a rooster say?

Oliver still doesn't speak a word, but he knows what a rooster and a lion say. Sometimes when asked what they say he'll make the sound all on his own and sometimes we have to make the sound first then he'll do it. It's pretty amazing! He will do it consistently too. Well, at least the rooster sound, which is more of a screach/squeal for him. The tiger is brand new so we don't know how consistent that sound is yet.

The occupational therapist came today and got us started on a brushing technique to hopefully better regulate him and keep him from banging his head when he's upset. So far he's pretty fidgety and doesn't like to sit there the whole time, but we've only done it twice. We also do a joint compression method along with the brush method. It will take time to see if they benefit him.

UPDATE!!
About 30 seconds after posting the above message Oliver wanted to go outside. He usually goes over to the door and knocks, reaches for the doorknob, or bangs his head on it. We always encourage him to go get his shoes so he can go outside. This time without any cue from us he knocked on the door and then went and grabbed his shoes and brought them to me (Dad) so I could put them on him. AMAZING!!

Some possible successes for today

1. Last night when I was putting Oliver to bed at night I lied down and pretended to snore. He seemed to think it was strange. He lied down with me and looked at me and sometimes played with my face a bit. Then today during Oliver's attempted nap this afternoon, I went in and lied on his bed to encourage him to go to sleep. He finally came over and laid down next to me, but with his back turned away. With his head on the pillow with me I hear him do some heavy breathing that sounds a lot like the pretend snoring I was doing the night before. He did it about 10 times before stopping. I'm not sure if he was really imitating me or not, but it sure seemed like it.

2. Tonight before bed I showed Oliver a farm animal picture book. I said the name of each animal and made its sound. About the 3rd time reading the book I opened to the first animal, Rooster. 'A rooster says, cockadoodledoo,' and suddenly he made a squeak that sounded like my Rooster sound. When I got to that page again the same thing happened, and one more time after that.

3.Oliver is starting to make a little more eye contact. While Ciara was putting his shoes on she made it a fun game and Oliver often looked at her from on her lap. Also, when his bath ended we cleaned up his bath toys and i made funny sounds as he dropped the toys in the bucket. He looked at me before dropping each one in waiting for me to make the funny sound.

Oliver's Comfort Zone Activities

1. Reading books
2. Pushing buttons
3. Playing with Doggie
4. Hiding under Blanket
5. Playing with rocks
6. Running in circles
7. Watching TV (we don't focus on this one)
8. Placing toys behind objects (i.e. behind the TV, behind the couch, etc)

Goals

1. Interactive play-time 8 times a day for at least 20 min.
2. Use 'power phrases' like 'Ta-dah!', 'Uh-oh!', '1, 2.....3!!'
3. Stretch out interactions with him as long as possible.
4. Work on eye contact.